Build-A-Bear Blunder

I was one of the 3.2 million people across the globe who stood in line for Build-A-Bear’s “Pay Your Age” day.  Where did I get that statistic from? Nowhere. I completely made it up. I’m a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year old and a 4-year old; I don’t have time to do that kind of research or fact checking.  I want nothing more than for this to be a well-researched, fact-base piece on the fallacies of American consumerism, but I only have the running time of the movie Frozen to write this piece, or however long my 2-year old’s attention span holds.  I’ve seen the comments on social media criticizing those who even went out to Build a Bear today in the first place. I can’t tell you who the other 4.7 million people who stood in line were (see how my random number keeps changing?), but I can tell you who I am as well as who some of the others were joining me in that ridiculously long line.

Okay, so you get the point that I’m limited on time to myself to think and compose my thoughts into writing, but yet I also have all the time in the world…so long as that time involves my two small kids.  My “job” as a stay-at-home mom is basically planning daily outings to prevent me and my two young sons from killing each other each day. Bonus: If I can wear them out enough, that might even result in a dual nap so this mama can get some much-needed time to herself!  (Without the movie Frozen playing in the background for the 4.7th billionth time.) Needless to say, that’s why I am “one of those people who obviously has too much time on my hands” that braved Build a Bear today.

I feel like it’s also worth noting that my boys and I just got over a horrific stomach bug which forced us to be stuck at home all week.  We were beyond desperate to get out of the house. Even my husband recognized this morning that it was imperative for us to escape. I put the Pay Your Own Age Day event in the calendar last weekend when I saw someone share a news story about it on Facebook.  I expected it to be crazy like the $5 Build-A-Bear Day my older son participated in almost exactly 2 years ago. I thought the one hour wait in line for that event was painful, so I decided to arrive before the store even opened instead of mid-day like we had 2 years ago.  Little did I know we weren't even close to beating the crowds...

Despite arriving 45 minutes before the store even opened, I could tell just by seeing the packed parking lot that there was no way my boys wouldn’t get to build a bear today.  We went ahead and parked, and asked a mom leaving the mall with her child what it was like inside. She told us they had already shut down the line for those who would get to participate in "Pay Your Age" day, but they were passing out $15 vouchers to the rest of the people remaining in line.  We opted to go inside and see what the voucher line was like since we were already there.  The voucher line alone literally spanned half the length of the mall and even wrapped around.

The only reason I was willing to stand in line for the voucher was in hopes that it would help my boys understand why they weren't able to go to Build-a-Bear today.  I secretly hoped they wouldn't be able to handle it which would give us the excuse to just leave, but I think they actually kind of enjoyed the excitement of it all. So, yes, we truly had nothing else better to do than to stand in line for about 45 minutes in order for them each to get a $15 voucher.

While there, I posted a picture that showed only a tiny fraction of the ridiculously long line looping around the mall with a warning to my friends NOT to go there today!  I’m assuming the fact that I tagged the Tucson Mall in my post is why I quickly received two message requests in my Facebook inbox. One was from Mrs. Grant, a local radio personality asking me to take a call about my Build A Bear experience today.  The other was from someone who works for our local paper. Of course I was willing to respond to both of their messages, that is, once I finally got my screaming 4-year old down for a much-needed nap. (He doesn’t normally nap, but he was a mess after leaving the mall with a coupon instead of a new stuffed animal that I would likely just sneak off to Goodwill in 6 months anyway.  I’m still working on the whole “There’s starving children in Africa!” concept with that kid.)

Not gonna lie, I got off that recorded phone call with Mrs. Grant and Greg Curtis feeling a bit of a high.  Life as a stay-at-home mom can be pretty dull, especially after a week of cleaning vomit from towels, sheets, carpets, rugs, toys...okay, to be fair my husband did most of the vomit-cleaning since I was busy up-chucking myself.  I sure love that guy. (And as another side note: I can understand why no friends will be accepting my invitations to come over for a playdate for a very LOOOOOONG time!)

Anyway, that phone call got me to think more deeply about our whole Build A Bear experience this morning.  A high school acquaintance (and fellow Valley Center High School valedictorian who has lived a much more exciting life than this elementary-teacher-turned-stay-at-home mom) commented on my Facebook post.  He said, “I’ve long held that everything that is wrong about American overconsumption can be found in the existence of Build-a-Bear. Here we are.” I suggested he write a piece on his thoughts, as it would be very timely given today’s blunder.  Here is his response [and I apologize for not taking the time to paraphrase because Olaf is currently singing his song about Summer so I can feel the time ticking away]: “I’ve thought about it. They have one in Dubai. After a particularly grueling stretch in Afghanistan a number of years back, I had a few days of travel in the UAE. As I was having a cup of coffee across from the store, I remember reflecting on how much disconnect there is between the world where children are born in camps for internally displaced persons, knowing nothing but tents and filth and sickness and hunger, and the world where stores exist for the sole purpose of building a stuffed animal. And the very fact that people will line up for hours, pushing and yelling, is a very sobering critique of the world in which we live.”

Well said, Dayne.  I’m truly envious of not only his life experiences, but also his ability to share an intelligent, well-thought-out response to a Facebook post unlike mine which usually involves the use of 1 or 7 emojis.  Aaaaaanyway, believe it or not I’ve actually had a similar thought about Build-A-Bear. When I stood there two years ago watching my then-2-year old stomp the mechanism that fluffs up an animal, blow on the stuffed heart that goes inside to make a wish, and do all the other cheesy things that are frankly only cute-ish for super small children to do...I couldn’t help but think about children in third world countries who could have quite possibly been the ones to sew those limp, unstuffed animals together.  (Note: Again, I’ve done exactly zero fact-checking here. I’m not saying Build-A-Bear uses child labor to manufacture their products...this was just a random thought that came to mind.)

Albeit unfounded, you would think that fleeting thought of small children sewing limp unstuffed animals would make me swear off Build A Bear forever, but dammit I just can’t pass up a good deal.  (Did you catch the fact that I used to be an elementary teacher? Thriftiness is basically embedded into our genetic makeup.) I’ve actually been wanting to take our boys back to Build A Bear so my two-year old could enjoy his first fluff-stomping, heart-blowing, awkward-ceremonial-chanting experience.  I just can’t bring myself to pay $25+ for a stuffed animal that I’ll likely sneak off to Goodwill in 6 months anyway. Therefore, of course Build A Bear’s Pay Your Age Day event made its way into my calendar.

Okay, so here’s where I feel guilty (aside from all the blatantly obvious reasons I SHOULD feel guilty for taking part in Build-A-Bear’s obscene marketing ploy)...it became apparent to me that many of the people standing in that ridiculously long line weren’t just people like me who wanted to take advantage of a good deal, but rather people who could only afford the Build-A-Bear experience because of this deal.  The sweet woman who we stood next to in line was a Grandmother dressed in scrubs to work her afternoon/night shift in an alzheimer's care facility. Trailing behind her was her son, his wife (or maybe just baby mama?) pushing their 6-month old baby in a stroller, and that same mama even had another baby on the way. That Grandmother revealed to us that all of them live with her and are dependent on her income since her husband passed away.  They had driven about an hour to attend thisa event, just so that 6 month-old grandbaby could have his $1 Build-A-Bear.

I know what you’re thinking about that family.  Trust me, I had all those same thoughts about priorities and life choices, too, but who are we to judge?  I’m pretty familiar with the mindsets of impoverished people after teaching in three Title 1 elementary schools across three different states.  All three of those schools sent Friday food bags home with students who would otherwise go hungry over the weekend. Those are the kind of families who probably joined us in the ridiculously long line at Build A Bear today.

For those who say they don’t understand poverty, I’ll point you in the direction of Ruby Payne’s Framework for Understanding Poverty.  In my first year of teaching, I participated in a book study and travelled for a professional development workshop that was designed around that book’s principles.  I have spent the past decade recommending Ruby Payne's book to any and all people who say they struggle to understand the priorities and life choices made by the poor.  Her Framework explains that people in poverty place an extremely high value on entertainment, which is why they would choose to have a nice big screen TV in their homes, even if they lack a working refrigerator to properly store perishable foods. Therefore, an event like Build A Bear’s Pay Your Own Age Day is going to be something people of poverty would absolutely take advantage of, even if it means spending $25+ in gas just to make the round trip to the mall.

Okay, Elsa is now back in Arendelle proclaiming that they’ll never shut the gates again, so I really need to wrap this thing up.  In short, I don’t blame Build a Bear for exploiting stay-at-home-mom deal-seekers such as myself. However, I do blame them for exploiting poverty.  I truly felt bad for all those people standing in line awaiting their coupons, knowing that when or if they ever redeem those $15 vouchers, those families will still end up spending way too much of their hard-earned money on clothes, shoes, accessories, sound mechanisms, etc. for their chincy stuffed animals.  I’m not sure whether to end this by saying, “Shame on you, Build A Bear” or rather “Well played, Build A Bear, well played...” [insert eye-roll emoji here]